Holding All Things Loosely

It’s Fall of 2021 and I’m sitting here in my living room cuddled up with my two pups. I’m gazing out of our wide windows facing the backyard, watching the leaves fall from the trees. One by one, these leaves are released with the wind, gently letting go from the limbs that have nourished and held them through the last several months.

I’m drawn to the grace and elegance of these leaves. For the don’t fight the seasonal transitions or waste their time trying to hang on to what was before. These beautiful leaves, they freely let go and bravely drift away into the next phase of their existence.

Little do they know that I’m watching them. And learning from their simple ways.

I’ve come to learn that life doesn’t always go as planned…surprise surprise, right? Lately, I’ve also become more aware of my tendency to fight this, attempting maintain control of what I want and what should be, leaving little room for my imagination to truly wonder, and for my life to ebb and flow with the changing seasons and needs that come with these transitions. It’s easier for me to push on on in the name of self-sufficiency and determination than to stop and recognize that maybe there’s another way forward… one that is less driven by a desire for control and achievement. One that looks differently than what I originally thought it would be.

When I am living in these places of rigidity and control I experience a subtle form of anxiety. It doesn’t shout, but it creates a dissonance that lingers, enough to keep me up at night from time to time. It’s like listening to an orchestra with a violinist out of tune, or a bassoon using an old reed. At first it’s not too noticeable in the midst of the larger ensemble, but when you listen closely the dissonance begins to nag you with a soft fierceness. Sooner than later, it’s all you can listen to, and it begins to cloud the unity and oneness of the musical piece. So it is with my life.

To cope with this dissonance, attempting to find that tricky balance between holding on and letting go, I’m learning the art of holding all things loosely. This includes the larger vision I have for my life, family, and career, along with my smaller day-to-day decisions and plans. It softens my ways of rigid thinking and and adds a new layer of gentleness to my life. I’m finding such freedom in this approach as I cope with things that seem to go “wrong” and prepare for transitions ahead.

To clarify, holding all things loosely doesn’t mean that we have to fully let go of our goals or plans for the future. It’s not a this-or-that, black or white approach. That’s what’s so wonderful about it. It allows us to still hope and pursue those things which deserve our time and attention. It allows us to still hope and dream, and to take ownership of our lives while pursuing meaningful work. It allows us to pick things up and even hold them closely, but with hands that are relaxed and free, with an openness for flexibility, change, and surrender. Holding all things loosely gives us the mindset we need to let go if and when the time comes, and to drift away freely into the changing seasons of life without fighting or resisting. Holding all things loosely allows our imaginations the freedom to wander, hope, and dream, while giving our wills permission to adjust and surrender.