Struggling with Fear? Stop Running; Befriend your Anxiety

Befriend Your Anxiety

Let’s face it. Anxiety is everywhere. These days, younger generations are more stressed, anxious, and depressed than ever. We’re also more medicated now than ever. Sure, medications certainly have their place, but when we attempt to fight anxiety or suppress anxiety with pharmaceuticals or other means, we might miss out on what it’s really trying to tell us.

Many of us are afraid of anxiety because of how it feels, and because of the impact it can have on the body and mind. We often hear of the negative effects of chronic stress or anxiety on our health, which can lead us to fear anxiety itself. And in this place of fearing fear, we end up generating more anxiety and stress for ourselves. Anyone who has fallen into this trap knows what a never-ending cycle this can become.

Perhaps this is you. Maybe you’ve been caught up in fearing anxiety itself, which ends up ruling your thoughts, choices, and decisions about the future. Do you find yourself hiding away, avoiding any kind of risk or new opportunity because of fear? Or even a fear of feeling fear? Here’s a radical approach: don’t run, hide, or suppress; befriend your anxiety.

Tenderly approach your frightened ‘inner child’

What would happen, after all, if you chose to approach your fears from a calm, compassionate perspective? Rather than trying to eliminate or ignore your anxiety, what would happen if you embraced, comforted, and listened to it, like you would a tenderhearted, frightened child?

From this perspective, try listening to what your anxiety is trying to tell you or warn you about. What’s your frightened inner child trying to say? For many people, the inner child screams when he or she is trying to communicate a threat or warning, or to indicate that something is not right. In a world of such uncertainty and pain, where terrible things happen around us, it’s no wonder anxiety, or the inner child, responds in this way. Running around with warning signs and flashing reminders is the only way it knows how to let its voice be heard.

In order to tone down anxious responses, we often need to move with them, not against them. After all, the anxiety itself is trying to keep us safe.

By stepping back and observing the thoughts as they come, you create greater separation from the negative thoughts. Anxiety has less hold over you the more you observe and listen, rather than trying to fight and run.

The next time anxiety rears its’ head, try to respond with something like this:

“Hey anxiety (or whatever else you choose to label it), I see you, and I feel you. I recognize that you’re trying to tell me something. Lets’ see what that might that be… “

“I’ve fought against you for a good long time, but lets’ try something different. Lets’ stop fighting and be friends. After all, you teach me certain things about myself and this world around me. And I’m so thankful for that. “

” I choose to listen to you, and see what you have to say. I understand you are trying to protect me, not harm me.”

And, if you’ve listened and responded in an honest, nurturing way, and the anxiety persists, try this:

“Anxiety, just as I listen to you, know that you can listen to me, for I also have your best interest in mind. Thank you for warning me about _____________. If there is anything more I need to do, I will do that. For now, you can rest. You are safe.”

Be patient, gentle, and loving towards yourself as you try to befriend your anxiety. You’ll likely find that anxiety tends to loosen its grip when approached from this kind, compassionate, and curious perspective.