Fighting for peace to find good rest

Our family just came back from a vacation in the mountains with my in-laws. It was a lovely trip. I feel both rested and exhausted. Vacations with a toddler are definitely more tiring than our pre-parent trips (oh, but all the more richer in smiles and pure joy!) 

Our time as a family was spent playing in the hotel rooms with little cousins, exploring the mountain resort and surrounding cities, going on picnics by the river, and putting our feet in the cold mountain water. 

This lovely time of vacationing, however, did not come without effort on my end. At times, the transition towards rest can be so difficult for me. This vacation was one of those times I found myself fighting for peace.

Prior to leaving for any vacation I experience pre-vacation jitters. I feel the need to get everything checked off, all the bills paid, all the emails returned, all the clothes washed and dishes put away.

On top of the regular to-do’s I also experienced stress associated with some new transitions with work. Of course, these things always pop up right before vacation, right?!

It felt like my mind, outside of the structure and routine of daily life, refused to release and let go even if just for a few days. Oh how our minds, when left on their own, strive to control, to plan, to ruminate, to live anywhere but the present. Going to beautiful places will not do anything for us unless we change the landscape of our minds in midst of it all. 

This week, in a season of change and all the uncomfortable feelings of growth woven within a big job transition,  I’ve had to fight for peace. 

I’ve had to fight for peace against patterns of hurry and efficiency.

 In my tendency towards scheduling and planning while vacationing  with a family who is so easy going and go with the flow, I’ve had to fight for peace and mental rest. 

It seems so ironic that we have to fight for something like peace. Shouldn’t it come naturally for us if we just step away from our emails and our phones and surround ourselves with lovely places and people? 

Oh how I wish it were so! 

Rest and peace is not something that comes naturally for many of us. It may not be our go-to state of mind. The kind of mental rest we all crave often comes with a fight… one that is within our very minds.

Why is this so?

It’s natural for our bodies, when given a space to rest, to bring up unresolved memories and conflict buried within us. When we begin to let go of all of the surface level stresses, our bodies start to feel safe enough to unravel what’s stored beneath the surface. We begin to wrestle with the underlying feelings and stories that get buried by our daily routines. When our bodies finally have the space to breathe and be at ease, we may find ourselves feeling more restless and wonder why. It’s all normal, and it’s part of being a busy human.

Peace is possible, but it may require some extra effort, boundaries, and grace.

So what just fighting for peace look like?

Fighting for peace looks like…

For me, fighting for peace in the midst of scheduled times for rest looks like:

Deliberately silencing my notifications, respecting my “away” email messages, and resisting the need to check and respond to things that can will wait.

Setting firm boundaries with my thoughts and refocusing on the present… over and over and over again.

Avoiding behaviors that bring anxiety and stress to my body, like taking it easy on caffeine and not overscheduling myself. 

Letting go of the pressure to make my time of rest look a certain way. (Again, so hard for a natural planner and controller!) 

Doing things because I want to do them, not to meet a daily standard for productivity or efficiency. 

Being with my feelings that come and go and naming any sources of dysregulation without judgement.

Choosing to pick my battles and arguments wisely and letting things be that can wait. 

Being intentional about noticing and appreciating beauty.

Allowing the change in routine to open up an opportunity to lean into the Father’s pace and walk in step with him. 

Remembering that God created my body to work and rest. Rest is a part of the divine rhythm that God himself embodies and calls me to pattern after him. 

Leaning into his grace when the rest doesn’t look “perfect,” and remembering that true, everlasting rest will follow us through eternity.