We’re Having a Girl

Friends,

I’m so excited to share that come September 2022, Joey and I are having our first baby — a GIRL!

I’ve entered into my second trimester (oh, thank GOODNESS, I never knew creating a baby during the first few months was so brutal) and am starting to have more energy to process, write, and celebrate this beautiful gift.

Last week, we had a “gender reveal” via zoom with my parents, Joey’s parents, my brother and sister in law, and some close family friends. Thanks to the world of genetic testing, I was able to view the baby’s gender online with a few quick clicks by 14 weeks gestation. We all gathered together in anticipation, huddled around on our screens, and viewed the results all at the same time. That moment when “female” hit the screen, we all squealed, cried, and celebrated. It was a joyful moment we’ll always remember.

Now, let me be honest. I was excited and amazed to see she was a girl… but I also panicked.

Suddenly, everything became so real. I wasn’t just having a baby, I was having a girl.

All the thoughts and “what-ifs” started circling around in my head. I realized I was having a girl who would carry my genetics, the good and the bad. A girl who would be susceptible to my own vulnerabilities and sensitivities. Would she, too, battle autoimmune challenges and face similar battles and health crises as I have? Or face those messy teenage years and have her heart broken, again and again, just like me? Oh, to think that my own journey would be reflected in her story initially brought sheer terror. Did I really have it in me to give this girl what she needed? Would I be capable of walking her through this journey, potentially re-entering the “danger zones” that I’ve worked so hard to overcome?

Thanks to my wise husband, I was reminded that it is our own vulnerabilities and struggles that make us good parents. Not perfect parents, but capable parents. Because of our struggles and failures, we have the insight and empathy to guide our children though their own valleys and peaks. As mothers, our daughters will be like us, at least in part. This will allow us to feel what they feel, fear what they fear, and hope with them. Who better than us to be the ones to walk them though the happy and hard seasons of life. Just as my mother did for me, and continues to do so I, too, get to share in my daughter’s joys, hopes, and griefs, and move through this journey of life with her.

A good friend and beautiful mother also shared how having a girl does something redemptive to your soul and inner child. Your own story is somehow transformed as you pray for, nurture, and raise your little girl. This conversation reminded me of a dream I had during the first few weeks of my pregnancy, when I was already wrestling with thoughts of “getting it wrong.” I heard very clearly a voice that said, “Your child is not meant to be perfect, but to play a role in my redemption process.” I’m convinced it was the Lord’s, as I’ve never had that kind of wisdom in my dreams.

As I write this, it’s been a week since we learned about her, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. All the questions and unknowns have subsided and for now, and I’m just celebrating her growing presence. Her name will be “Laura Marie.” Laura was my grandmother’s name, and Marie is my mother’s middle name. Both of these women have shaped my life in so many beautiful ways, and I know Laura will be blessed by their lives as well.

In case you’re wondering… Joey is stoked. He’s already started learning daddy-daughter songs, and at times you’ll find him crying his eyes out in love and anticipation. I couldn’t ask for a better father. My, what a softie he’s going to become. 🙂