What I Learned in 2022

Every year I try to go back and reflect on what I’ve learned. This year was a full one for me. Full of waiting for my daughter’s arrival. Full of joy and thriving and big emotions and breakdowns. Here’s what I learned through this intense yet beautiful season:

Motherhood is such a beautiful gift

When my daughter was born in September, something in me, deep inside, came alive. I didn’t realize how much I would love being a mom. Honestly, when they tell you that being a mom unlocks this love you never knew existed, it’s so true. My little Laura Marie is almost 4 months now, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the chance to love and nurture my beautiful baby girl. 

It’s wild how the things I once cared about don’t matter as much anymore. 

Now that I’m a mom, coffee is a lifesaver! 

Except when I try to be super-woman and get adrenal fatigue. And then there’s the less satisfying cup of bland green tea. 

The importance of being kind to myself

With Laura now in my life, I’ve never been so driven to change the way I think about things, especially in the way I talk to myself. I know she will learn from me one day, and watch how I approach failure, insecurity, and doubt. I am learning how to talk back to negative thinking, and welcome the perspectives of kindness, compassion, and grace I hope she, too,  will embody within herself one day. 

Perfectionism doesn’t make you perfect. It makes you miserable.

God’s Love Changes Everything 

I started a Romans study with the women in my church this year. This study brings to life for me the reality that we have peace with God through Jesus Christ, and that nothing can separate us from His love. Like many of us in the church, I’ve heard this before, but I’ve struggled to feel and believe  this kind of big love. 

But one thing I know is that feelings lie and my thoughts don’t always tell the truth.

This year, I’ve started practicing who I would be if I knew I was deeply loved. Instead of waiting until I feel God’s love for me, I act it out.  With practice, this gives me more confidence, boldness, and freedom to live my life without all the voices of shame and insecurity clouding my choices. And interestingly enough, I find that when I act out His love for me, the feelings can follow. 

My friends are really important 

When I was pregnant, one of my best friends introduced me to Jennie Allen’s book, Find Your People. This book was life-changing for me, as it shed light on my need for deep, intimate relationships, and that community is something you have to fight for. I have never been so thankful for my friends. Over the last year, they’ve listened patiently when I’ve called them crying (one time with with Laura wailing in both of our ears), encouraged me when I feel small, laughed with me at my weirdness, joined me on big adventures, and celebrated with me the joys of motherhood.

A good marriage take work 

Joey and I have been learning how important it is to prioritize each other, and to put work into our relationship. Laura has rocked our world, and challenged us in big ways. And… news flash:  bossy and controlling and nagging dictators don’t make good wives. 

Not everything is a problem to be solved, or something to be fixed

A friend and fellow mom told me this when I was once fretting over newborn sleep challenges. It’s so true. Instead of trying to fix the things that don’t go as planned, or the things I don’t like, I’m learning the art of acceptance. It brings about so much more peace and rest. Especially when I have this bad habit of making things worse when I try and fix them.

There is clarity in contrast 

Sometimes, we learn what we really want to do when we do the things we don’t like. We figure out who we want to be when we live like the person we’re not. Even when we make mistakes, or do things that don’t feel good, there is always something to be learned, in everything. 

Happy New Year, friends! I hope 2023 is filled with joy.