The breakup

I just officially deleted my Facebook account.

No, I didn’t deactivate it for the fifth time. I deleted it for good. I ended my 18 year relationship with this platform. The fact that it was this hard and took me this long tells me that it was probably a good decision.

I’m currently reading The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien. Facebook/social media for me has been a version of the ring. It’s been this thing that feels good and lures me in, but also the thing that feels icky and keeps me trapped. I want it, but I hate it at the same time. And there are always “reasons” why I should keep it despite the fact that it’s caused more harm than good over the years.

So, I’ve officially cut the ties!

Are there benefits to Facebook/social media? For sure! I recognize that not everyone may share these same views and have the same experiences on this platform. I recognize that it can be helpful in some ways.

Here’s my story and here are 3 reasons why I’ve said goodbye to Facebook, after weighing all the pro’s and con’s myself:

I’m tired of presenting versions of myself to the world

Facebook only allows you to present versions of yourself. Unlike face-to-face interactions and in-person relationships, you don’t get to dive in and really understand or see the depths of one’s own life and experiences on social media. Nor do you really get to share your own. You can share glimpses, but these are often shallow and lacking the full truth.

With Facebook you get glimpses, and I don’t want glimpses anymore. I don’t want to see glimpses nor do I want to give away glimpses. I want these glimpses replaced with coffee dates and phone calls and pages of snail-mail letters. I want to be real and I want to see the realness of others. Facebook just doesn’t give me this and I can’t give it here either.

It tugs me to create and maintain an identity

Earlier this month our church celebrated the baptisms of 4 beautiful babies. It was a lovely service. Our priest reminded all of us, during this service, of our status as baptized Christians. Our identity is received, not earned.

With Facebook, and almost any other social media platform, there is a risk of creating an identity you feel you must live up to. The current of individualism in this day and age doesn’t help this. I have been so tired of feeling the need to live up to this image, this expectation. So now, I’ve decided to get rid of it all together. I’m tearing up the blueprint of this identity I’ve felt the need to live up to for so many years.

I’m letting go of the mask.

Letting go of the hiding behind a screen thinking and overthinking on what I should share and what I shouldn’t. Let me tell you friend, this feels so good.

It just doesn’t feel good

Getting on Facebook just doesn’t feel good in my body. I feel overstimulated and my body clenches up. It’s just too much at once. Too much to keep up with, and too much to look at.

Facebook doesn’t bring me joy. It actually robs joy and it robs precious time I could be spending on something more wholesome and meaningful. It robs my attention and pulls me away from important moments. It makes me distracted and preoccupied. I don’t want this for myself and I don’t want it for my family.

So I’ve said good-bye.