Embracing Neurodiversity

I write this post in the middle of April, which is Autism Awareness Month. Over the last few years, I’ve had the privilege of learning more about autism from my research experience at USC, in addition to working directly with children and adolescents with autism and their caregivers.

(See my post here on how mindfulness can support parents of children with autism)

Here is one of the many things I’ve learned: Despite the many stereotypes and rigid perceptions of what autism is, there is no such thing as autistic behaviors, only human behaviors. We all share similarities in the way we experience and cope with the unpredictability of this world. Let me explain…

Defining autism and “autistic behaviors”

According to the DSM-5, autism is characterized as having differences (DSM-5 uses “deficits,” but I prefer to use “differences”) in social communication and social interaction, and restricted or repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities.

(For more information on diagnostic criteria for autism and how to make sense of the DSM-5, here is a wonderful article explaining everything using pictures).

Historically speaking, autism has been misrepresented as an illness, something to be ridden of and fixed. Countless interventions have been developed and tried over the years to make individuals with autism appear more neurotypical or “normal” (whatever that really means).

Sadly, this has contributed to a great deal of hurt, confusion, and isolation in the autism community, and fueled rigid rules and stereotypes of what autism is and isn’t. Culture and media have contributed to these misunderstandings as well.

The truth is, there are specific neurological differences in an autistic brain that contribute to differences in the way an autistic person experiences and interacts with the world. But this doesn’t make these individuals any less of a person, or wholly different from the rest of society.

It means that autistic people have brains that are wired a bit differently, and to compensate, they engage in certain behaviors to regulate themselves in a world that feels very confusing and overwhelming.

Autistic people aren’t alone in experiencing these challenges.

Don’t we all feel dysregulated from time to time, and engage in our own sets of rituals and routines to balance ourselves?

We’re all human

In fact, as Barry Prizant points out in Uniquely Human, “there is not such thing as autistic behaviors. These are all human behaviors and human reactions based on a person’s experiences.”

Dr. Prizant claims he has never seen an autistic person do something that he hasn’t seen a neurotypical person do — which I wholeheartedly agree with. Repeating phrases over and over again, fixating on certain topics or interests, rocking, or hand flapping, are all behaviors neurotypicals have engaged in at some point in their lives.

When I get super excited, I squeal and jump up and down. When my body feels overwhelmed and dysregulated, I try deep breathing, go for a walk, or practice yoga. Sometimes I do have a full on tantrum or meltdown, but I try to limit these to when I’m by myself and not in my office or in public…

Sometimes I truly want to move my body in certain ways, but I don’t because it doesn’t match the “social rules” around me. People with autism naturally engage in behaviors to self-regulate, sometimes without filtering their behaviors though these social “rules.” Why should they be judged for doing so?

The point is that we all, regardless of whether we have have a diagnosis or not, engage in our own patterns of behavior and rituals to cope with events in our world that feel frightening, overwhelming, or very exciting. Autistic individuals are usually more vulnerable to life’s unpredictability and the uncertainty of relationships, primarily due to underlying neurological differences. They may experience more feelings of discomfort and anxiety than others on a day-to-day basis. Their “autistic behaviors” support self-regulation and are really a strength, not a weakness.

This isn’t to say that some self-regulating behaviors (e.g., head banging) shouldn’t be addressed and redirected, and that there are patterns of coping that are more helpful than others, but that our society is quick to judge what is “right” and “wrong.”

What would it look like to step away from some of our social rules and give each other permission to just be human? After all, we’re all trying to cope with the stress and overwhelm of life in the best way we can. What would it look like to truly live and be in our own bodies, free from rigid social expectations?

We’re all trying to live as best we can in a world that is overwhelming and unpredictable. Yes, there are key differences at play, but underneath it all, we’re all human.