Coping with Autoimmune Disease

All throughout my health journey, I’ve had to constantly either reign myself in, or push myself forward in attempts to find balance in a dysregulated body. In my efforts of coping with autoimmune disease, I’ve learned of a balance that’s often needed between fighting, surrendering, and letting go.

Coping with autoimmune disease through advocacy

There have been times when I’ve needed to advocate, and firmly assert my needs and beliefs in the presence of my doctors. On certain occasions, I’d say I’ve done a pretty good job, and have come out feeling more empowered in the end. Other times, I may still shrink into my own self-doubt and timidness, and let others make decisions for me — that may or may not serve as the best fit.

Advocating for yourself in the medical and mental health arena is very important, for no one else knows you better than yourself, and no one will advocate for your needs better than you can. Within these systems, there’s no use waiting around until a magic solution or pill falls into your lap, taking away all responsibility and pain; you’ve got to be the one willing to step out, take charge, and get messy!

Advocating through the medical world

In reflecting on my journey with hashimoto’s thyroiditis, I never would have found the answers needed unless I had stepped out on my own. My doctors at the time did not issue the tests I needed, rather, I was told to maintain a regimen centered around symptom management approaches.

Had I not ventured out of my own comfort zone, turning aside from traditional ways of coping, I never would have discovered functional medicine, and my underlying conditions may have remained undiagnosed and untreated by the standard medical model. I may have never received the thorough tests that were needed, and I may not have discovered how much better I’d feel after making some basic changes to my diet and other lifestyle routines.

If I had not stepped up and advocated, I would have remained sick, without knowing or treating the underlying problems for what they were.

There are times, when attempting to navigate the seas of autoimmune disease, you may have to be willing to turn the course and rock the boat.

A time for acceptance and surrender

Equally important, however, in our efforts towards finding balance and coping with autoimmune disease, is the need to accept and surrender that which is outside of our control.

It’s often said, that pain + resistance = suffering.

Meaning, suffering is often intensified when we attempt to fight or resist it. Instead, we can find peace and freedom when we choose to stop trying to control every little outcome, and instead accept the pain or brokenness for what it is. Here, we create the space needed to actually feel and grieve. Only by accepting the pain or uncertainty can we move past it; for the thing we most fear becomes the thing that controls us in the end.

The freedom in letting go

When coping with autoimmune disease or any other physical ailment or flaw, there’s no use trying to fix everything that’s wrong with the body. We’ll drive ourselves mad, and these kinds of perfectionistic pursuits often make things worse.

When I reflect on the more difficult parts of my autoimmune story, I was probably the “sickest” when I was most consumed with getting everything “right.” Ironically, I felt the most out-of-control when I was trying to take on too much control. Only by letting go and accepting my brokenness and imperfection for what it was, and may always be, did I experience deeper freedom and peace in my body.

Yes, there is liberation and empowerment in learning how to speak up and advocate for your body, but also in accepting your struggles just as they are — without striving to change, control, or fix. There is freedom in knowing that your life and happiness doesn’t depend on or start after your body is 100% healed or symptom free. If that were the case, we’d never get on with our lives, for something will always be off, missing, or broken — that’s the nature of this imperfect world we find ourselves in.

In my own journey, I’ve felt most free and whole when I’ve chosen to accept rather than try to control or fix every odd symptom, unexplained change in my lab work, or night of restless sleep. I’ve experienced the most peace when I extend grace to my body, rather than hold it accountable to unattainable standards or expectations.

Healing will come

I am most at ease when I practice surrendering my brokenness to the One who sees and holds it all, knowing that one day, broken bodies will become newly restored bodies where neither pain, uncertainty, or chronic illness will co-exist.

Genuine physical healing will come, if not in this life, then certainly in the next.